I'm hoping and praying that this is my year of discovery. I don't really want anything in my life to change (like my amazing boyfriend, my supportive family, my financial stability, and my status as a recent college grad) because I'm really lucky. But I want more from life - out of life and ifs definitely not life's fault, its 110% my fault. I've let this world wreck me. I’ve spent most of my adult-ish (from high school through a lot of 2016) life not believing in spirituality because I didn't want to be wrong and I didn't want to seem foolish. But over the past few months I've been desperately working to change this. I thought to myself wouldn't it be better to be wrong about this and be hopeful my entire life from my own blessings than to be right and bitter because I won't change? I decided the answer was yes, and so I begin my spiritual journey with God.
More on my self-discovery: I do not love the field my degree is in. I do not want to work in this field unless I find some hella cool job (but according to indeed.com, chances are slim pickins homie). I know what I want. It's what I've wanted for a while now. I wasn't sure if it was even a real profession, but I knew it was something I was made to do. AND THEN I found out it was a real job! I want to rehabilitate injured, abused, and shy dogs to know what love is. I want them to know and when they know, I want them to be adopted. I've always loved walking through the shelters and it would break my heart to see them there, but made my heart tickle when they interact (especially if I had to work for it). I hardly ever shied away from getting too close but I can get a good read if I am truly unwanted which usually isn't the case. I used to make my mom so nervous because I'd fall head over heels in love with every dog who'd let me. I dragged my boyfriend into the shelter one day and I did my usual, I looked up to find him staring at me with a disgusted face almost and he said to me, "You have a gift and you are being so selfish not to use it." Of course, he wasn't really mad at me, but he was serious. I cautiously but intentionally stumbled across this very job listing. The listing of my dreams... I should apply right? But it's faaaar from home and doesn't use my degree for a second... I want to. I really want to. Next, I want a tiny house. A nice 265-square foot cottage on wheels. I haven't managed to get my boyfriend on this bandwagon either. He thinks we would regret it so much with two 55 pound dogs. I realize he probably isn't wrong when it comes to this detail, but for whatever reason, it doesn't seem to bother me enough to change my mind. It would have a nice plank exterior with a beautiful maroon door and a lovely copper roof. We would take it when we need to move, but we wouldn't run it up and down the roads. When we eventually are blessed with children, we buy a normal sized home (which we will be able to afford after saving so much with the tiny house investment). Once we have a regular home with a regular foundation, we could rent the trendy shed out or use it as our camper! My boyfriend and I are no newbies to camping and certainly bring up the idea of a camper regularly. This tiny house could meet our needs now and really never stop. As I said before, in just a few short months I'm going to be a recent college grad. I don't intend to stay in school and I dread the thought of applying to these indeed jobs related to what freshman year Katie thought she wanted. I want to take those summer months to be free. Everlastingly free. I'll apply to jobs (realizing I'm rapidly roasting my savings account) and travel in the meantime. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to do to this animal sanctuary in Thailand and I think fresh out of college might be the time. I could go on vacation with my family. I could apply for more jobs. I could be whatever I wanted to be for a few short months. I could figure it out. I could figure myself out. Spiritually settled. Worldly satisfied. Blissfully realistic. This could be my life in just a few months, and then maybe I'd even land that dream job, move across the country in my tiny house with my boyfriend, and two 55 pound dogs.
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